…and here we are….

Well, it is Alaska. We do get snow. And we have. It is February. That darn rodent saw his shadow again this year. They are calling for 12 weeks of winter still left for us up here. That rat said 6 weeks, but that’s for the lower 48. Up here…well, we got to see the sun today. I cannot even explain to you how exciting that is. I have all our blinds open. And I got to see our newest level of snow-blown “snow berm” around our house. It started snowing on Friday and pretty much kept it up until this morning, which is Tuesday. My poor husband is the consummate snow plow guy. He looks so frozen when he is plowing and shoveling the snow, but I think he secretly likes it.

Of course, he will vehemently deny his pleasure, but look at that smile! LOL! It’s snowing so much you cannot see across the street. But he is so good. He tries to leave me a clear pathway and exit for my car from the garage. The way the winds blow, it blows across my side of the garage and skips his side. And I’m the one with the granny sedan. He has a big, ole 4-wheel drive, 4-door-truck! LOL. He travels for work and we laugh because for the 2 weeks in a row he was home, we had just a little snow. He was leaving Monday and of course it starts pounding us with snow on the Friday before. He plowed Saturday. It snowed Sunday. He plowed again before he left for the airport Monday morning; it snowed 4″ at least by the time I went to bed on Monday. So once again, I am stuck. But you know what? I kinda like it. Shhhh….

I’ve been in a slight slump. A lot is facing me and I just flat out am done. My stress is high. I’ve sort of just shut down. I rarely sleep a full night. I have these lovely zinging things all over my skin from Covid. It’s been 2 years and I still have after-affects. And the zings all over my skin wake me up and then I stress out and break out in full on sweat-mode, leading into a panic attack. But you know what? I have chosen to take that to task and be done with all of that, too.

I started to attend a women’s Bible Study. And I am finding peace there. It is so wonderful to sit around a table with a cup of coffee and chat about the faith with women who try really hard to live their faith – every day. And boy, are they fervent prayer warriors! Wow. I stand in abject awe at how they grasp the promises of Christ and act on them in praying for everyone who asks it of them. And we are seeing the scriptures in a new light. The Book of Romans is no easy task, that is for sure. But growing in God’s Word has been – it’s hard to describe – but because of this weekly Study, the stress is going way, way down. I can sigh and feel relief. I am so glad my dear friend, Michelle, invited me to attend with her.

In addition to that, I also started a Bible Study with my good friend, Rhonda. We are doing a book entitled, “The Armor of God,” based on Ephesians 6. I cannot fully express how this has invaded my heart, mind, and soul, And today, in week two, day two, I chose to fully claim the promise of Christ, which is to live in God’s truth, and to reach for that righteousness that is in me, through my faith. I refuse to allow the times and the “tempter” to trample my peace; to keep me awake at night in full panic mode; to procrastinate becoming the woman I know I am inside.

Do you ever feel like if you could just get the right key, you could unlock everything inside of you that has you caged in? This idea came to me when we were discussing the “belt of truth” and the “breastplate of righteousness” in Ephesians. The abject truth that never changes. The righteousness that our faith imparts to us through the gift of the Holy Spirit. And I just can’t quite reach the lock…

I tend to be a conservative in pretty much everything. I am not an “Hallelujah” shouting sort of Christian. I was raised with decorum in Church. You do not speak when others are. You dress nicely – your Sunday best – for Church. You behave at all times (parents always threatened us – which is rather ironic, if you think about it). And yes, I was taught formulaic prayer and I cannot tell you how comforting that was when I was hospitalized all alone with Covid. I have never prayed so much in my life. Hours would go by and I’d still be calling on all the saints and angels, and everyone I knew, to pray for me and my husband to be healed and out of there! But I have never been a specific, directed, praying person in the sense of just praying to God. I always start my prayer times with, “Jesus, son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.” Always. But now I feel like I can claim the promises God gave us. When I am awakened now, I pray that Jesus remove the stress from my heart; that He remove the affects of Covid from my body and help me to fully heal; that I give in to Him all these silly issues and allow Him to direct it all. I beg for Satan stop beating on me with his knowledge of my weaknesses. I ask Christ to hedge me with my salvation in Him and a protection against evil in my life. I beg for a restful sleep. And I thank Him for dying on the Cross for me. In those words. In fervent prayer. And then I restfully go back to sleep. It has been amazing.

My husband had a very important phone call the other day. And I knew he was wanting a certainty from this call, and I know he was nervous. So after he closed himself into his office for the call, I retreated to our main bathroom. I was brushing my teeth and getting ready for my day, and I just started fervently praying. And I mean, I was praying! I was leaning on God so much, and I was expressing my desires for my husband and the person he was speaking with. And I kept at it. I realized, suddenly, that my husband was standing in the doorway looking at me. He asked me, “Were you singing?” And I replied, “Nope. I was praying for you and for that that phone call.” He seemed to be happy that I was so caught up in the prayer, I did not notice him approach. And as it turned out, the phone call/meeting turned out exactly as I had been praying for. God will work miracles – we just need to lay it all out there for Him to work. We believe; we pray. God acts.

Somehow, I was able to crack open that cage inside of me and allow God full access. And I am allowing my heart and head full communion with all of this. Working as a woman on a mission – to become a better me. To allow God to work in me through His gift of the Holy Spirit, through my faith in Him. Wow. What a total blessing.

And because of this, He is allowing me to accomplish things I have been putting off. He is giving me the confidence and the grace to do these tasks I have felt were beyond my ability. I am tackling them one issue at a time and somehow He is giving me this peace that is washing over me in waves…all the while allowing me to do what I have been afraid to do. I am breathing quieter and finding strength where I did not know I had it.

“I call to you Lord, come quickly to me; hear me when I call to you. May my prayer rise before You like incense; may the lifting up of my hands be like the evening sacrifice. Set a guard over my mouth, Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips. Do not let my heart be drawn to what is evil so that I take part in wicked deeds along with those who are evildoers…”

Psalm 141:1-4

This prayer is said daily in the Eastern Churches, as well as the Orthodox. And I find this prayer so comforting. And as I am making my way as an older woman, seeing the sunset get ever closer, I feel a need so deep to work this out with God. To know Him as He knows me. To allow Him to work in me and through me. To allow myself the peace that is Christ. And to share this with my family and friends. Yes, it is winter. The snow is everywhere – both on the ground and metaphorically in our hearts and minds. But the promise of Spring – the Light – is an eternal promise. Let us all grasp for that promise.

“And because of Abraham’s faith, God counted him as righteous. And when God counted him as righteous, it wasn’t just for Abraham’s benefit. It was recorded for our benefit, too, assuring us that God will also count us as righteous if we believe in him, the one who raised Jesus our Lord from the dead. He was handed over to die because of our sins, and he was raised to life to make us right with God.”

Romans 4:22-25

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A time for every purpose under heaven…

Today’s forecast…

Of course, I do live in Alaska. And c’mon, we can’t expect flowers and sunshine when snow is still haunting the shadows and the temps are chilly. There is another meme I have about Spring in Alaska. And it sums up most of our attitudes…

Spring? Nope!

And that’s kinda the mood I am in today – hunkered down in sweats and slippers. I have spent the past 3 days – literally entire days – going through our memory stuff. Totes upon totes worth of the past 37 years of married life with kids – and then some. As I went through – seriously – every, single photo we own and wrote on the back of it, or tossed it, my hand began to ache. I went from 6 totes of loose photos down to three. I am proud of myself.

Organizing old photos…

As I made my way through these boxes and albums, I came to realize that I am the sole storage for most of my family’s histories. And I inherited my grandparents on both sides’ photos – why? Weirdly enough, both of my parents are only children. And I have just 1 brother – who does not like old things. So I got the collective memories from 4 families. And it was daunting. My heart swelled in thanks when something was written on the back. But I have this one album, complete with black pages, and lots of fading photos from one end to the other, with not a single name. I recognized familial traits, so I could narrow it down to my mother’s mother’s maiden name side. Sigh. But that is all. No one person stood out to me. And these photos are from the late 1880s. I did recognize a house my grandmother lived in as a child, so I know for sure it is her side of the family. because I have a mounted photo with names on it, and she is one of the people named. But they are all in New Zealand, no less. There is no one alive I can consult about them, who I know about in the greater familial ties, or even know where to look for them, or a last name to try! And that made me sad. I could not get rid of it. I love history too much. I even saved a couple of photos of people I have no way to identify, but the photos are so awesome. All in sepia and mounted on cardboard with lovely borders. I just could not bring myself to toss them out.

Old photos…

One of the reasons I am doing this is because I am in purge mode. We have too much stuff in our garage. We have hauled the same boxes, unopened, through three states. One of the things we did was go through all our saved, recorded, VHS tapes. We inherited my grandma’s old VHS player and it works! So we plopped in tapes with no labels, understood why no one wrote on them, and tossed them out. LOL! One is from an old family friend, with her narrating, old black and white videos from her family. Not a single video of my family. Not sure why we had it but it is no longer in my video tote! We only kept about 6 VHS tapes. And we watched our wedding video. We both shed a tear at the same song. Isn’t that cool!! We are going to ask my brother-in-law to put these on CDs for us. Isn’t it funny how things become so outdated, you don’t have the machine to play them or view them on??

VHS…oh, the memories!

Another revelation is that our photo records pretty much stopped, or certainly slowed to a trickle, when our oldest son hit high school. And I realized it was because we all went digital. And in a weird way, it made me sort of sad. It is like when I reluctantly transitioned from books you hold and touch and smell to an e-reader. I went kicking and screaming and now my kindle is with me all the time. I marveled at how the first time I traveled with it, I was carrying 600 books in my purse (yeah, I love books). And as this purge went, we also downsized by a lot. We took 6 totes the the local thrift store, full of books. Most of them were great reads, but I had to admit to myself I probably would not read them again, and if I chose to do so, would use my kindle to do it. I gave up my original Twilight series, the Divergent series, a series I bought in college about the Civil War (all 8 volumes of it), some very large books I dove into with relish like Ruska and Peter the Great… but I know I won’t read them again. I did save books my kids read and they are boxed up and ready for them to get in the mail.

Flat Rate!

When people die, they leave behind relished trinkets and photos, slips of cloth, programs from events, ticket stubs, even toys and saved bits of clothing. Some people collect their whole lives and leave stacks and stacks and stacks of stuff. And someone has to go through all that and dispose of it. Sorting through things after someone passes away is a rough task. When my mother-in-law passed away, it was a monumental task. Lots of feelings come out when you go through another person’s things. Especially if they were a collector. When my grandmother passed away, she had been staying with me about 6 months. But I still had to get back to her place and dispose of everything. I did it alone, with the help of my 2 younger boys, schlepping things to the dumpster, the car, and to the local thrift shop in her senior complex. That thrift shop was a sad place, because every single thing in there was only there because someone died. Other seniors would come and go through the things and take what they needed, at no charge to them. It felt good to help others like that, but it also grieved me even more. Grandma had been parsed down to a few boxes. And she was almost 100 years old. It was hard enough caring for her as she died, let alone clearing out all her things. These past few days, I mourned the passing of my family all over again. And I mourned the passing of my life – it has gone by in the wink of an eye.

Time flew past so quickly…

And today I am just tired. So much went through my brain this weekend. So many people I no longer see or even know where they are. Lots of friends and family who are no longer with us. I was watching a VHS tape and started to cry because I realized everyone in the movie, except for my immediate family, are all dead. It happened so quickly. Now I see my children, and their families, fully engaged in their own lives. And so very busy. Pretty soon they will be where I am now – standing outside and watching their own children move along this racing timeline. It caused me to stop and think. And I realized, too, I am one of those old folks that sit on the sidelines, watching the young people. So so weird.

For everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die; a time to plant and a time to pluck up what has been planted; a time to kill and a time to heal; a time to break down and a time to build up; a time to weep and a time to laugh; a time to mourn and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to seek and a time to lose; a time to keep and a time to cast away; a time to rend and a time to sew; a time to keep silence and a time to speak; a time to love and a time to hate; a time for war and a time for peace.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

A time for everything…

“…as the wind goes sweeping down…”

My oh my oh my. We have just come through a windstorm. I have never experienced this sort of thing, on so many consecutive days, in my life. The worst part was the never-ending noise. We had 100 mph winds clocked at a small airport down the road from us, less than a mile away. We lost power off and on for three days. The worst was about 8 hours straight, but thankfully we slept through much of that. The power going on and off wreaks havoc with electronics. We have to keep resetting clocks and timers, etc. One of the most affected, apparently, is the electronic thermostat on my oven. I guess it doesn’t like being messed with.

Maggie (8 months) running through the wind and snow!

Our dogs were off a little with the noise, the power being off, and the stuff blowing by. The wind chill had us at about -25f and I can assure you it was frigid outside. The dogs loved it; especially Maggie. Being a puppy, this was her first experience with wind and snow. And she loved it. She would come in with an ice beard and solid ice down her backside. She cracked me up. And she hated being toweled off – it became a game to her. We would chase her around the house to get the snow off her, but it was flying off on its own. Once she settled down, we would cuddle her and get the snow off that way. And she kept asking to go outside! Our older poodle, Kolbe, knew better. He stayed inside more often, by the wood stove. In the photo above, Maggie is running on the TOP of our raised beds – which became obscured by the wind and snow. Did not stop her! It was blowing so hard she was barely visible!! Silly girl.

I cannot even say how grateful I am for our Blaze King stove. What an amazing wood stove. Aside from being totally gorgeous for a wood stove (that shiny brown enamel just gets me) it kept our house warm when the power went out. Ed kept it running 24/7 and our living room stayed at a toasty 73-degrees! When it’s -25 outside and you lose power, warmth is a necessity! The rest of the house stayed warm enough with sweats and sweaters on to be doable. We laid a sleeping bag across our bed and slept in our sweats and we were fine. Three days of cold and noise and oh so much damage!!!

Greenhouse while trimming trees around it – we help our breath! LOL!

The photo above is of our beloved greenhouse this summer. We had an amazing growing season in that greenhouse. I had 20 tomatoes and 29 bell peppers, some dill, some indeterminate tomatoes strung along the sides. It would get to well over 100-degrees in there on a sunny day. It was perfect for our little homestead. Along with the raised beds, we had an amazingly bountiful harvest. And then winter arrived. We prayed the greenhouse would survive the rain and snow. It did. It took a considerable load of snow with no problem whatsoever. We breathed a collective sigh of relief. Well, until this weekend that is. *sigh*

Greenhouse post windstorm of ’22

And this morning, this is our greenhouse. And our raised beds – they’re buried under snow. So much debris on the snow – branches, leaves, sticks…the dogs love it. LOL. They brought a huge branch from a pine tree up onto our deck – together because it was too big for just one dog. Anyway, our skies have cleared and the wind has slowed to 40 mph gusts! Actually it has been pretty calm most of the day. Cold, but calm. With clear skies come a big drop in temperature. No clouds to buffer us. So the high today was expected to be zero (0). And the low well into the -6 range. As the sun is waning, I look out and just see a frozen mess. The cover for our little camper is shredded. My husband’s BBQ was toppled over and moved. The back deck cannot be seen – there is a huge mound of blown snow that has covered our table and chairs. And with it being so cold, everything is frozen in place.

Carrs/Safeway Palmer, Alaska

You know, as the saying goes, “It could be worse!” Above is the Carrs/Safeway grocery store. Apparently one of their fire sprinklers burst and the system pretty much exploded over the entire store. With the blowing winds, no electricity, and the cold temperatures in the -25 range, it froze inside the store. The entire store.

Carrs/Safeway Palmer, Alaska – Entryway

And the outside of the store froze, as well. I’m not joking when I say we had a major storm. The roads were almost impassable. We had whiteout with the blowing snow. Semi-trailers overturning and landing on the roads; people’s storage sheds flying across the highway. Debris was flying so much the local police department was begging people to stay home and not come out and take photos like the ones above (got these from a friend who was a patrol officer). I know God protected us – once again – and I feel blessed. Friends had their windows explode and another had her door wrung from the frame and blown inside. The governor declared an emergency and asked us all to shelter in place. I was good with that. Stayed home in my sweats, making sure everything was charged up and we had food to eat. My hubby insured we had warmth by constantly stoking the stove. We made it through the Great Windstorm of ’22 and we are doing fine. Whew. Another new experience to chalk up to living Alaska!! I still love it here. With it being so cold, the snow is glistening and it is sooooo pretty. Almost makes me forget my greenhouse and those shingles that flew off our roof…almost.

Sparkling snow…beautiful!

Well, hello there!

We’ve had a pretty dismal fall. Cold, damp, windy. We had a snow storm a week or so ago and the snow tried to stay around in the shaded/lee side of things. It was an odd Halloween here in Alaska, because there was no snow. I loved it when our neighbor drove his snow sled full of kids down the street in all the snow. This year, we all were sort of holding our collective breath.

New snow

We had a weather report that we would see some light snow – about 1.2″ from one report and then another said it would not stick. Well, they were all wrong. It started snowing in the late evening on Wednesday and it finally stopped late Thursday night. This photo above is Thursday afternoon. When all was said and done, we got about 10″ of snow. And it took everyone by surprise. The temperature has remained below 20 degrees, so this snow is staying around awhile. Well, hello there, Mr. Winter!!!

If you are like I am, surprises can be a great thing, or they can be the worst experience ever. Snow – well, I happen to love winter and cold temperatures and snow. I love hearing it crunch under my feet. And the world gets so quiet and so still. I find great peace in wintertime. So that surprise was a joyous one for me. There are other surprises that have occurred that I am not that happy with.

Surprise!!

Did you know that the CDC sent out a letter confirming that there are no recorded cases of someone, who is not vaccinated and gets Covid, and recovers, infecting anyone else? How can they require us to be vaccinated???? And there have been numerous studies verifying that immunity lasts over a year??? That there are more deaths and vaccine injuries (side effects) for people who are vaccinated? Of course you have to get the vaccine to get a vaccine injury, but most of these injuries are from subsequent injections. How many boosters will there be???

When I was a child, I was lined up in school for vaccination against smallpox in the early 60s. I was in the gym in kindergarten, which was already a scary place because it was so big, with all these nurses and doctors dressed in white, who I did not know, directing us to “shot stations.” There were these stainless steel long containers full of these weird things with points on them that they jabbed into your shoulder area. It hurt so badly. After that, while crying, we were offered sugar cubes to make us smile, but it was actually the polio vaccine, given orally. I remember the blister and then the scab from it, and I still have the scar from the smallpox vaccine. Yesterday Bill Gates warned everyone we were not prepared for another smallpox outbreak. This came right on the heels of his new smallpox drug getting approved. No surprise there. Always, always, follow the money. Always. News for Bill – have the scar – had the vaccine. They stopped giving it because it was eradicated. Hmmm…wonder what Bill has up his sleeve now?

Kolbe and Maggie wanting to go outside – again – to play in the snow!

I still think most of this fear-mongering is about money, power, and control. It’s crazy to keep going back for more. As an example, my dogs love the snow. But poodles (yes, they are standard poodles in desperate need of grooming – Covid to blame) have these very deep pads on their feet. They are water dogs and the deep pads help them swim. But these same pads get a lot of ice and snow packed into them. It damages their skin and we have to put this moisturizing dog-musher concoction on their feet (necessity is the mother of invention, as they say, and the dog mushers solved this problem). Do sore feet deter these dogs from zooming through snow banks and jumping over buried raised garden beds, sometimes for hours? It does not. The fun is worth the pain. Think about this vaccine craze for a moment. Is the danger worth it? All the kids with myocarditis? The many soccer players throughout Europe now experiencing health issues – most of them heart related? Women experiencing all sorts of issues with fertility. There are children having heart attacks. A mother posted a photo of her son, I think he was 7, coming out of a coma surrounded by Fruit Loops and a pizza, after his injection with the vaccine and subsequent heart attack. Her comment? “Thank goodness he’s vaccinated – there are so many sick people in here.” No issue with the horrible side effect her son experienced – heart attack and coma – because of the vaccine. Is it worth it? I do not think so. And yet so many jump in line to get this chemical cocktail, aka vaccine.

The Covid Vaccine – necessary??

Facing many of us is the vaccine mandate. Either submit to this chemical cocktail or lose your job. In some countries (France, Norway, Germany, to name just a few) they are enacting lockdowns that prohibit the unvaccinated from leaving their homes – period – no exceptions. How do they eat? Work? Pay bills? Is that what is coming to Biden’s America? Have you looked at the draconian mandates Los Angeles County implemented? In LA County you have to show more ID to get a Starbucks coffee than you do to vote! Insanity.

I always thought our 3 branches of government were for balance – as in “checks and balances.” A FEDERAL court ruled Biden’s mandate could not move forward. The judicial branch – one of the three legs that hold this footstool together. The executive branch – aka the White House – told companies to keep preparing for the deadline, even though the Federal court told them to stop. I never thought our laws were made at the direction or whim of a President. That would be the purview of our legislative branch – aka Congress. And OSHA? They are primarily about workplace safety – not healthcare. They certainly are not part of law enforcement. They have no jurisdiction to arrest people or fine companies for a MANDATE – which is not a law. Personally, OSHA has gotten a little big for their britches, much like the EEOC. They are bureaus – more bureaucracies – and we have far too many of those (think alphabet agencies).

Schoolhouse Rock – the 3 circles of government!

I remember when Civics was a part of our schooling. I thought it was so interesting. But they pretty much scuttled that in our schools anymore. I saw a great quote about that; “Why do they not teach about our rights in schools anymore? Because it’s easier to take them away if you don’t know what they are.” Bill Gates said he did not want the schools to teach thinking. He did not need thinkers. He needed workers. People who would blindly punch a time card, do their work, and go home at night. He doesn’t want thinkers – or people who question things. Boy oh boy – between his vaccination fascination, his depopulation plans, and his dumbing down of America, why do we listen to him? He comes from a rich family – they set him up in business. But he never graduated from college (neither did Zuckerberg) and has no medical training. He’s a rich businessman sticking his nose where it does not belong, but people allow it because he’s rich and powerful. Follow the money – always.

Whats Next?

I wish I knew what was coming. I do think we are all going to have to make hard choices and soon. Vaccine mandate. Some will have to choose between their job and losing everything for not capitulating to an illegal health requirement for working. (Will that same company pay me 24/7/365 for my lifetime because I have to carry the vaccine all the time and not just for my 8-5 job?) And with inflation starting to rear its ugly head, we all need to seriously stock up on essentials. Make plans in case the supply train doesn’t come to you. Make plans if the power grid goes down. Have a place to meet family members if there is a disaster. Do you have an alternate – and safe – source of heat in case natural gas or coal are too costly or unavailable? Get sleeping bags, blankets. Think smart. Stock up on things like aspirin and other OTC and Rx mediations that help make life easier. Bandages and bandaids. And yes, toilet paper and feminine hygiene needs. Water. A gallon per person per day. Dog/cat/pet food. Gas for the car before it’s too expensive to buy at all. There are lots of things to think about when planning for the worst case scenario, not to mention bad weather and natural disasters.

There are greater minds than mine who believe Biden, and his cohorts on both sides of the aisle, are trying to literally bring the USA to its knees by locking us down, starving us, stopping the flow of utilities, and giving us these chemical cocktails. As Ronald Reagan once said, “The scariest 7 words you will ever hear are, “The Government is here to help you.” Will you allow it? Taking it on the chin and giving in to government pressure is no way to live. Is the vaccination passport worth it? Is the pain worth it? Is our freedom? Our rights? We are still relatively free people. We need to remember our freedoms and protect them, or memories of them are all we will have.

“…Do not let your hearts be troubled…”

Oh do we have snow! Not as much as they have been warning us about (although it’s not over, yet) but everything is white. You see the world in whites and grays in this winter wonderland. The light from the sun weaves its ambient presence among us and the world is much more quiet and serene. Even the local dump is pretty, covered in beautiful layers of snowy goodness! As we wander into the last days of this incredibly wild year, I have pondered what my next days will be filled with. I am not good with “resolutions” and even the word sounds so final. I rarely keep them. I intend to, which is the main thing, but my follow-through for an entire year is usually weak. And since I know that about myself, and am “of an age” where I can readily express that with no embarrassment, I do! Ha-Ha!

I do wish everyone a blessed and happy New Year. I pray that 2017 is a year of profound peace and prosperity, in whatever ways mean that to you. For me, I am seeking a return to what I somehow laid aside. I am anxious for inner peace – moreover, an inner contentment. It has somehow escaped me and I spend many nights tossing and turning, many days exhausted from a lack of good sleep, and an overall feeling of impending doom. That is no way to go through life. I am working on my health and my supplements! I know I need more vitamin D! I am working on that. We had a very successful experience trying the Whole30 elimination diet and we did so for 49 days, until Thanksgiving. Since then, we have both seen our overall health tank. The old aches and pains are back, some new ones cropped up, and we have an overall feeling of just plain, well, “yuck.” So in 3 days we will back at this Whole30 experience. You can google it, if you are unaware of what it is, and you can also look back at some earlier posts, when I explained in more detail what we are up to.

This year, we met a lot of new people and I can honestly say, our lives are the better for it. Our perspectives have broadened, and we have found areas that we want to grow in. It is wonderful, too, to find a group of like-minded individuals. While many of them have younger families, we have found a group where we are among our peers. And we both love being with people our age and life experiences. It is fun. And so in the coming year, we hope to strengthen these relationships, make many of these people close friends, and grow and learn many new skills. Living where we do, we are deeply intrenched in the seasons of the earth. Right now, in deep winter, we are all hunkered down and only occasionally getting together. I cannot wait for spring and summer – more opportunities to mingle, lots of new things to experience, and more people to get to know. And, we get to try our hand at a better garden this year!

One of the things I have learned this past year is that social media, while it can be a good thing, can suck you dry. It can pull you in, because perhaps you are lonely. It can take over your day. You can be so caught up in checking Facebook and emails, tweets and pins, that you forget to be present to those around you. You forget to live this life in the here and now. I do believe our computers aid us (I am typing this on my gorgeous, and purple, MacBook) but I also think that the ease with which they purport to make our lives, also complicates them. I can’t recall the last time I went days without checking things on either my computer or my phone. I deleted a bunch of apps off my phone the last few days. I decided it was just too much. Facebook Messenger was insane. Ugh. My phone beeps and tweets and sings to me all day long. Even when I turn off my notifications, something beeps at me. And I came to the realization that I sit far too long, looking at the activities of other people, and not having enough of my own. How silly is that?

So I am trying to keep a sort of “resolution,” in that I have deleted apps from both my phone and computer, and I am simplifying. I mean, for instance, I am down to 1 Angry Bird app. Period. And I am down to 1 solitaire game across all media platforms.  That is progress my friends! I am seriously thinking of deleting my aquarium app, as I have 6 tanks and if I don’t feed those darn fish…well, you know. (Gross). But seriously. I am 60 years old. And I play Angry Birds. What is up with that?? I feed make-believe fish in make-believe aquariums. I think I knew I was going off the rails when I started breeding sharks in amongst the angel fish. I mean, how sick is that?? And what am I NOT doing whilst feeding imaginary fish and  defeating imaginary pigs? I am not praying. I am not reading. I am not becoming a better me. Does Angry Birds help me get closer to God? Uhm, no. I think He is probably shaking His head at my silliness.

We are all called to be His children. We are all called to share the Word of God with those around us. We are all called to help our fellow man. Angry Birds does not do any of that. I spent an afternoon canning with some new friends this fall. In a very out-of-the-way place (where there was not even navigation in my car or phone reception, and yes, I got momentarily lost as I journeyed home) with some wonderful new people in my life. The conversation was great. We shared stories and we laughed. The skills acquired were really a re-introduction to canning, as I had not done it in years. But the skills shared, the wisdom in that cabin, has stayed with me. And I hunger for more of the same. These were some real people and I felt so welcome and so “at home.” We shared, with one another, the gist of who we are in the simple tasks of washing black currants, and boiling water, of making coffee, and slicing and blanching carrots. What a simple joy that afternoon was. And it profoundly struck me. That is what I want more of.

Do you know I have only been shopping in our one, large mall here 1 time? Guess what? I have no desire to go there. At all. I’ve never been a shopper, and I am really growing to hate crowds of people. But you know what I am anxious for? What I want to do? What I am excited for? Getting together to cook and  make some scrumptious recipes with some of my new friends. We’ve been teasing each other with recipes! I am looking forward to some shooting lessons. I desperately want to feel more confident in my basic skills in regards to being prepared for our next “snowmaggedon” or our new volcanic eruption, or the next big earthquake. Learning to freeze foods; learning to dehydrate foods. Canning, in all its glory. Planting a well-thought-out garden. These things excite me.

As we age, our dreams change. I no longer foresee a house in a development, or master-planned community. I envision a place with space around it. It doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s home; it doesn’t have to please anyone else. But I would like it to to be simple, serene, and away from the “maddening crowd.” I dream of a log cabin, although I am aware of how much adjusting and upkeep they require. I don’t need my own lake or river, but it would be nice to have one close by so my dear husband can grab his fishing gear and walk down to the water, and relax while challenging the salmon. I would love to have space so he can hunt if he wants to, without having to drive miles upon miles to do it. And I want a space where others feel welcome and want to come and hang out. Even if it is simply for some card games and coffee. I would like my forever home. Because I am so very tired of moving. I want my roots in this land to go deep. I want a home where my grandkids will someday say, “Remember grandma and grandpa’s house in the woods where we got to fish and run around?” I want to make those memories with my grandchildren, and with my children, and my husband. I want inner serenity. I want peace and contentment. I certainly don’t want millions of dollars and all that it requires to take care of it. I want to be safe and comfortable, in a space where I can host others, and share some peace and laughter with them.

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” John 14:27

And so for 2017, I wish for you the same. The peace the world cannot offer; the peace of Christ. I wish for all of us, to have fear leave us and for contentment to find us. I pray the world will calm down and we can each find this peace in our own little corner of it. For some, it will be an apartment in the middle of a vast city, driving to and from on complicated highways and byways. For others, it will be on farms and rural homes. Still others in suburban hideaways, where they can escape the madness of their commutes. But at least once a week, I pray we can all find our way to kneel before the One Who created us, to give thanks, to be humbled, and to enjoin with Him Who gave us life and breath, and hearts to love. “Our thoughts determine our lives” (Elder Thaddeus) is something I try to live by. If we all have thoughts of peace and we share them, peace will emanate from us and fill those around us. One way to find peace is to seek the quiet and serenity wherever, and whenever, we can. For me, I think I will slowly unplug from the rat race. I may still play a round or two of Angry Birds, but I am trying to rein that in, too. I know that waking early, spending some time reading the Word of God and having a chat with Him, starts my day off right. I also love to enjoy a quiet cup of coffee, and a little time with my husband before he is off to his day. These good habits that ground us are often hard to come by, and hard won. But they give us peace and prepare us as we enter into the work the Lord has given us for this day. And for me, I will take these “resolutions” and tackle each day, one at a time, as I resolve to find peace, contentment, and work on all these new things and new people in our lives. “…Do not let your hearts be troubled…”

God’s blessings on you and yours as we wade into this new year – 2017.

“..be ready in season and out of season..”

Well, Whole30’ers, it is our 3rd day. I must say that I have discovered some things I did not know. I love butternut squash! Oh my goodness. I made butternut squash soup last night and it was so very yummy. As a family, we decided that the next time (yes, there will be a next time) I am going to add scallops to it! I added chicken this time, but next time we go seafood. And was it ever filling! Wow! Tonight we will experiment with those Brussel sprouts I spoke about earlier. A friend-of-a-friend posted photos of Brussel sprouts cut in half and sautéed until brown in ghee. With a little crisp bacon?? Yum! It’s on our menu!

I have bought canning jars as I shared before. I have made 2 different vinaigrette dressings and they are in them. I am attempting my own mayonnaise and ketchup and ranch dressing. Wish me luck (my lucky family is my guinea pig!! Ha-Ha!). I am going to look for larger canning jars this time. I need more room!

One of the ideas I have run across is to prepare salads and meals ahead of time and store them in canning jars. Send the hubby off to work with his lunch layered all pretty in a canning jar. All he has to do is shake and it’s ready! And to get rid of all that plastic in your kitchen (which I have been doing the past few years – Tupperware is gone!) and replace it with glass. You can easily store leftovers in canning jars. And you can re-heat in them, too. You’d be surprised where I have found lots of my glassware! Garage sales, thrift shops, online sales, deals at my local store….I have slowly replaced all my plastic bowls and storage with glass. It is cleaner, and it does not leach chemicals into your food. I am trying to also not use the microwave. Boy oh boy, that is one convenience it is going to be hard to stop using, but I am determined.

Hebrews 11:7 “It was by faith that Noah built a large boat to save his family from the flood. He obeyed God, who warned him about things that had never happened before. By his faith Noah condemned the rest of the world, and he received the righteousness that comes by.”

I am also stocking up on all sorts of provisions (food, staples, TP, water, my oils and supplements, etc). The weather predictions for this winter are fierce. So many warnings about tons of snow, wind, and very cold temperatures. The Farmer’s Almanac is warning people in the East that last year winter took a vacation! With the storm bearing down on Florida right now, news stories have shown empty shelves in grocery stores and crowded highways as people flee the storm. This year looks to be particularly rough for the east coast, and rainy on the west coast. For us, the Almanac tells us it will be a bit cooler, but also milder insofar as snow is concerned. Except that the old timers around here are warning everyone to be prepared, and that this winter will be extremely cold and there will be lots of snow. Who do you listen to? Well, Noah listened to the Lord and sadly enough, no one else was listening. I keep getting pushed, from somewhere inside of me, to store up food, water, blankets, a generator, extra flashlights and batteries. I think it is the Lord, pushing me to be smart. A local man said to get battery-powered radios, too! We have tons of firewood. At least we think we do. I certainly hope we don’t have to go through all the wood we have stockpiled this season. If we do, I am not sure how we’ll come out the other side! We have a lot of wood. It would be a life-changing winter, that is for sure!

2 Timothy 4:2-5 “…preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, and exhort, with complete patience and teaching. For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions, and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander off into myths. As for you, always be sober-minded, endure suffering, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry.”

I believe it is part of our calling to share when the Lord calls us to minister to our family, friends, and community. As I share this walk along my health journey with Whole30, I do believe the Lord has asked me to share my struggles at finding a healthy lifestyle, free from chemicals. I found my incredible Essential Oils and supplements…I simply have to share the graces I have found incorporating EO’s into our lives. I cannot just discover these riches and not share them with others. I have this blog, which a couple of people here and there read, and I hope that this venue allows me to touch just one soul, one life. If each of us were to do that, the Lord would smile.

Matthew 24:42-44 “So you, too, must keep watch! For you don’t know what day your Lord is coming. Understand this: If a homeowner knew exactly when a burglar was coming, he would keep watch and not permit his house to be broken into. You also must be ready all the time, for the Son of Man will come when least expected.”

There is nothing wrong with being smart and being prepared. I am working diligently on my health and our healthy lifestyle. Hearth and home are a part of that. I am looking into ways to store food and to be able to cook food, should our power go out. We live in a relatively wild area (compared to say, New York City) and help could be a long time coming, or not able to reach our area in time to really help us. That is reality (they don’t call it “The Last Frontier” for nothing). And it behooves us all to realistically look at where we live, what is around us, and what we would do if it all comes crashing down.

The internet is abuzz with all sorts of theories about the state of the world right now. Germany is telling its citizens to stock up on food and water. Other countries are warning their citizens that times are going to get really tough. In the US, this election is getting insanely ridiculous, with both sides seemingly relentless in smearing the other. Mike Pence seems to be the sole rational person in the mix. Dependent upon the outcome, the world could look very differently by January 2017. And that timeframe coincides nicely with the dead of winter. Civil unrest is real, and it is happening all over the world. What if it gets worse? Are you prepared? Could you live without all the medications you take? What about simple things like water? One man said that to be honest, just save aspirin (general medication), water, and bread. You can survive on bread and water. It’s completely outside of Whole30, so I am going to store other things, but the basics are called basic because they are what we can survive on.

“The tempter came to Him and said, “If You are the Son of God, tell these stones to become bread.” But Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.’” Matthew 4:4.

And so I keep the faith. Not blindly, but fully aware. In the time of Noah, the people were warned but did not heed the words of God. Noah was given the graces to hear God speak directly to him. He followed God’s word exactly as it was spoken and his family was saved. It feels sometimes like we want to just throw up our hands and cry out, “Come Lord Jesus, come!” (Revelation 22:30)

But honestly, as I have said in previous posts, “We are not guaranteed our next breath” (Fr. Justin Rose) The Lord has a plan. He alone knows when this craziness we call our world, will spin differently. We cannot know what the future holds. There is no reason not to prepare for natural, civil, and national disasters. What’s the downside? I guess it would be having a freezer stocked at all times with so much bread, you will never have to buy it, ever again. Or a basement filled with toilet paper and paper towels, water, and matches. You could have piles of blankets and sleeping bags, paperbacks you can read again, and board games to play. But that’s something I think I would rather have, than empty shelves as everyone flees the coming storm. Glory be to God in all things. And in preparing, being smart, eating to honor His Temple (your body), and living and sharing with one another this love He has shown us.

 

“To everything there is a season…”

Well, we did it. We put our tree up. Normally, it’s up on Black Friday. This year, I was feeling sort of bah-hum-bug-ish and did’t feel motivated to decorate. But now, I am glad we did. Sometimes we need to force ourselves to do things we may not want to, and we may even like how things turn out.

Saturday, my husband and I had a date. We went to this “door buster” sale that said it started at 7:00am. I was up and showering at 6:30, while my husband enjoyed some coffee. Off we went, expecting crowds, and me with wet hair, in the snow. We arrived to a pretty much empty lot. I was worried I got the dates wrong, checked my phone and my coupons, but I was right. We entered and remarked to the many employees, who were wearing their ugly Christmas sweaters, that we were lucky no one else arrived early. They had been expecting crowds, too. And for those of you who are men and can relate, my husband was able to relax with so few people around; shopping is not his thing. We try to spend at least one day each Christmas, just the two of us, shopping for the family. I refer to it as our Mr. and Mrs. Claus day. Last year we videod a message for our grandchildren who live out of state, while we shopped. It’s usually a good time and Saturday was no exception. We felt blessed. We had hot coffee, coupons, there were indeed “door buster” sales, and there were no crowds! And the bonus? We were home, unloaded, and sipping more coffee by 10:30am – done with our annual Christmas shopping and watching a huge snow storm!! (Which ended up lasting all of about 1 hour!) Whoot-whoot!

It’s nice to set a goal, get moving, and accomplish something. And it’s nice when things sort of come together. I am working at being healthier in my approach to expectations. I know that God expects me to always do my best, especially when it comes to my faith and family. But sometimes my expectations are pretty out of whack with reality. It leads to depression and disappointment. Up here, we have so few hours of daylight during the winter, that depression is a reality. They have “happy lights” they sell at all the local stores. But one of the best things about winter and Christmas and decorating, is the lights. We have this tradition of lighting the inside, as well as the outside, of our homes – and by lighting, I mean a lot of lights!! We try to get the outside up before the first snow/freeze and the interior ones usually stay up until almost Easter or Pascha. And this year we have lots of interior lights, which just makes me smile. Most are mixed colors, some are red, and our tree is all white. So I am glad my family pressed me into decorating. It does feel good.

I am also an avid Christmas song person. My cell phone even has a Christmas ring tone. I love some of the songs that an a cappella group, Pentatonix, does. They have done an amazing job of “Mary, did you know?” If you want a treat, google them! They are worth it. We played Christmas songs off our various iPods and phones while we hung lights and decorated our tree. It was good. To add to the environment, it was snowing like crazy. Perfect!

One of the most wonderful things about being Byzantine is that through our Vespers and other prayers, as well as our Liturgical songs, we are never left surprised by the holiday or feast day approaching. The Nativity Fast is one of those things that helps us prepare for the Christ Child. I think that sharing this with others make the season so much more alive. We often skip the prep and go straight to the event. But the journey is the most important part. A pastor spoke at a funeral and the gist of what he said was when you see the dates on the death announcement, remember our lives are lived in the dash marks (like 1945-1995). And how do we fill that space? For each holiday, each season, how do we fill our days? My expectations, as I said above, make movement sometimes difficult. We freeze out of fear of doing it wrong. Within the gentle movement of the liturgical year, we are brought forward for each feast. More than likely, we fast prior to the feast. It is the Church’s way of preparing us. We sacrifice our stomach’s demands, the demands of self, and bring our reality into line, focusing on the feast. Like dragging my feet about decorating, I realized I was becoming a reluctant participant in this glorious preparation of the Nativity Feast (aka Christmas Day) because I am worried about doing it wrong. What if I neglect prayers? Proper fasting? What about all the gifts for all our family and friends? When do we see whom? What do I serve for dinner? Who goes to which home, which day/night? So many things to juggle around these high-pressure holidays.

We are all called … very few come. There are some amazing things about the Nativity of Christ that get lost in all the red and green, lights and tinsel, gifts and cooking. “Today the Virgin is on her way to the cave where she will give birth to the Eternal Word of God in an ineffable manner. Rejoice, therefore, O universe, when you hear this news, and glorify with the angels and the shepherds Him who shall appear as a newborn Babe, being God from all eternity.” (Kontakion of the Preparation). We’re missing the point of all this stress, all this hoopla. And I am as guilty as the next stressed-out parent! Historically, in the quiet of the desert, the Theotokos (Mother of God) was making her way, on a donkey, escorted by Joseph, her espoused husband to the land of Joseph’s birth, Bethlehem. I do not think they were concerned with anything other than finding shelter so She could give birth to the Son of God.

How can I help myself, my friends, my family prepare for the celebration of the Birth of Christ? It is hard when many we are close to do not attend Church, and Christmas is all about Santa Claus, not even St. Nicholas. Some children I am very close to do not even know who Jesus is, let alone that Christmas is when we celebrate His birthday. And I had an “ah-ha” moment. The “ah-ha” was this: keep it simple! For Thanksgiving, I reverted to paper – plates, napkins, tablecloth, utensils, etc. I had people bring dishes to share. I simplified everything and we had a wonderful day. But since that is a secular holiday, how do we infuse Christ into this, a Holy Day, a Feast Day celebration? I am thinking, that in addition to simple, we need to share what we believe. We need to invite people to come to services at our churches with us. We need to send cards that reflect what we believe. Our priest has been talking to us (repeatedly) about Christmas cards. His point was that text messages and emails are nothing but steam, or smoke, or keystrokes. But a card? A card you can hold in your hand? A card with a personal note is like letting someone know you thought of them; that they were important enough for you to spend the time and effort to think of them, and bring them in, with you, to this joyous holiday, to that cave as we share this journey through the desert to Bethlehem.

Around our communities, our friends, our families, our tables we should share who we are and what we believe. We need to put our actions where our faith is. Too often we cave to the media’s interpretation of who we are, what our country is like, what Christmas is all about. Schools are telling teachers, parents, and students that they can no longer say “Merry Christmas” but must refrain. No mention even of Santa Claus. There will be no Christmas vacation; it’s now Winter Break. Happy Holidays, so we don’t offend anyone. Instead, let’s be the Christ Child, simple, quiet, unassuming, yet firmly who we are. Let’s invite others to share our faith walk. Let’s simplify Christmas in the gift giving and instead “do” for others. Make dates, have dinners together, park days, hikes. Shovel a neighbor’s driveway; help elderly people by singing Christmas Carols to them. Call old friends. Mend fences that need to be mended. Be present. Be loving. Above all, put self last and other first. Forgive without expectation. Love expecting no love in return. Give until you have nothing left to give. Often, even if we are reluctant to participate, or feel afraid of failing, we need to commit to being a part of this world we live in. But instead of being of the world, be in the world, but be a person of God. Sometimes, in this life, we are the only Jesus people will ever know. I know that I am reconfirming my determination to take deep breaths, reaffirm my determination to love others, and to positively share this faith I proclaim. I am going to be present when the Christ Child comes to us, and I am going to invite everyone to share in His Birthday.

“Today the virgin, gives birth to the incomprehensible One;
and the earth offers a cave to the unapproachable One;
Angels and shepherds glorify Him;
the Wisemen journey with a star;
since for our sakes is born the ETERNAL GOD, as a little Child.”