Boom – Boom – Boom!

Sometimes life lets you travel that road that is all paved and pleasant and easy. Then there is the day you accidentally veer off onto the road less traveled. Pot holes, wrong way directions, lots and lots of bumps. *Sigh*

My brain has been taking me so many places lately. As I wrote before, the interests of my mind took me many places in college. I think I officially changed my major about 4 or 5 times, at least. And I would travel those majors until my curiosity was satiated and I could comfortably walk away. One of my biggest mistakes was taking a few electives that sounded fun and I’d be off on another adventure. That’s how I found Anthropology and from that, Archeology. And that was the rabbit hole I found the most comfortable. I minored in Biblical Archeology and I could not understand how everyone was not a Christian. Ha-Ha. But I loved Anthropology because for me, it was history I could touch. I majored in Ancient History at one point and Anthropology was a perfect segue into archeology. Besides, the names of all those Egyptian dynasties rattled my brain and try as I might, memorizing them became a nightmare. I tried, but they all melded into one Ramses or another. I just could not keep them straight. But anthropology? I learned about the cultures of peoples and names were easier to connect to a people, a culture.

Imagine my surprise today when I read about an archeological discovery that was able to debunk the story of the Exodus in the Bible. Dates, places, names. They are stories, legends. They are not historical records. The ancestry of entire swaths of Jewish people around the world are now in question. The great lineage of Aaron and the Priesthood – turns out the roots are Caananite, not Israelites. Hmmm….

And here we go again…

And so my night was long. So long. In the evening, my husband and I delved into uncharted waters on YouTube until our heads were pounding and the questions multiplying. What is the solution to that? Chef Ramsey, of course! What other mind-numbing thing can you escape into other than pan-seared scallops, beef Wellington, and the dreaded food taste test? Yes, I love Chef Ramsey, in his many, many manifestations. I adore his show where he cooks at home with his kids, and his travel show with two other friends as they traverse Europe and discover new ways of cooking, arguing, and enjoying life. It is nice to watch him relax and totally laugh. Of course he lets loose when he gets to dump mashed potatoes and gravy on rookie chefs who cannot taste onions in a potato puree! LOL! It is a great escape from all the truth bombs I am having thrown at me on the daily.

More arrive daily..

One of the weirdest things I saw on a video is where they lay the ley lines on a flattened earth map. The fibonacci pattern is there for all to see. And how the fibonacci pattern is everywhere in nature. Even pineapples display it! The patterns is in so many plants. Our DNA has fibonacci all over it. And as I watched that simple act of laying those mystical ley lines on the earth’s surface, this sense of peace, belonging, and joy came over me. I got choked up. Not kidding.

Ley Lines on the Earth – the Pattern of Life

I have always loved folklore and history. The books I dove into as a kid, the stories I loved the best, were all mythical in orientation. The first set of books I owned were Mary Stewart’s King Arthur series. I loved them so much and read them until they were torn and in pieces. It captured my imagination and I escaped into another realm in another time. It was good for me.

Mary Stewart’s King Arthur

Prior to Mary Stewart, I read a lot of books about horses as a young girl. But once I discovered mythology and folklore, I was hooked. A favorite of mine, that I read to my boys out loud, was “The Scottish Chiefs” by Jane Porter. The illustrations are gorgeous. They inspire you, and her vocabulary was just delicious. (As weird as that may sound). From there, we moved on to the Narnia books, and the Lord of the Rings books. My boys devoured them. It has instilled a love affair with all things JRR Tolkien. Our middle son is still in love with them, through college and into adulthood. He now shares that love with his own children. Such a blessing.

Lord of the Rings

As I have delved into more adult folklore and mythology, I read the first few books of the infamous, or famous, TV series, “Game of Thrones,” by George RR Martin. In those books, there are elements of mythology that are perhaps more reality than our modern minds can process. And this is where my brain is exploding right now. So much of what we thought was accurate historical record, was not. There are things that somehow are missing. We can sense it; we can feel it. Ever come across some amazing architecture and scratch your head, wondering how on earth that was created “way back then” with just chisels and wooden tools, with no power tools? Yeah; me too. An amazing building surrounded by modern marvels that was not razed to make room for them? Why did they save it? What else was there before our current memory? Have you seen photos of the past World’s Fairs? Boggles the mind. Or photos of things dated PRIOR to photography supposedly being invented? There are those, too.

London’s World’s Fair 1800s.

Why are there things that boggle the mind around without an explanation? Where did the deposit of knowledge of these things go? Was it erased from our collective conscious? Why? Was the world really all that primitive generations ago, or was it more in line with Game of Thrones or Tolkein’s works? Would it be mind-blowing to learn entire continents were renamed because the world’s elite did not want us to know what has come before us? Why? I am diving deep these days and experiencing all the symptoms of cognitive dissonance. Headaches. Stress. Disbelief. Anger. Ugh. Want to come with me?

Tartarian Architecture

Research Tartaria. Align it with Ukraine and Russia. Look at what we always assumed was “Greco-Roman” Architecture. How did a city like Salt Lake City in Utah get discovered and within a few years have these amazing buildings already in use? Where were all those wagon trains going? Did they really build wooden towns? Who discovered the west? Was it already up and functioning? Why are there complex “greco-roman” styled buildings in remote Cambodia and Viet Nam? Why are there Tartarian cities in remote South American jungles? What, truly, is our past? I’m looking and searching all over the internet and discussing with other people who are discovering lots of new information. Who says you can’t teach an old dog new tricks??

For there is nothing hidden that will not be disclosed; and nothing concealed that will not be known or brought out into the open.

Luke 8:17
What will be revealed?

…”even the winds and the sea are obedient to Thee.”

And most of us don’t know it!

The days are getting stranger and stranger. Things are happening worldwide that boggle the mind. The USA is now being called out on their bioweapons labs – over 300 and counting – around the world. The ones in Ukraine are being systematically destroyed by Putin, and he has completed his task and is now working on peace with Ukraine. However, it is looking more and more like the recent bout with this plandemic was indeed that – a planned pandemic – that our own country has released upon us, and the rest of the world. (Research the China games with our military). DNA markers show us that Moderna had a patent on the genes in the virus. That our country is testing even worse viruses and diseases worldwide. The plan to reduce the population is being put into effect. What what is next? Honestly, I’m not surprised by much any longer. An article posted this morning was about the CEO of Disney being arrested (and then later released) for child trafficking. Meanwhile over 100 people were arrested in Florida for child trafficking and there were a few who worked at Disney World. The rumors of tunnels and kids missing from these theme parks are turning out to have much more truth to them. And it should scare everyone.

Help Stop Human Trafficking

The catchy phrases like “Save the Children” and others are not merely words to be bandied about. In most of the conspiracy theories out there, it all comes down to saving human beings from being treated like cattle – or worse. There are innumerous stories of human trafficking worldwide. There are names and places that crop up like Clinton, Haiti, Epstein, and others, all connected to this horrific trade in human beings. Children go missing at the rate of more than 460,000 per year in the US alone. How do we lose almost one-half million people EVERY YEAR????? And minor children at that??? Where are the values on human life in our country? We simply do not value life enough.

The Intrinsic value of each human life.

“The times, they are a changin'”…as the old song tells us, written by Bob Dylan in 1963. If only he knew then how much we would all change by now! He was born in the 40s and has seen so much change in his life, as I have in mine. The taking of the life of an unborn infant was so rare, and illegal. Yes, I am aware of backdoor clinics and drives in the night to have it done anyway. However, life was much more valued when I was a child. Each person had their own dignity, be it recognized or not. The societal changes that came about in the 60s is still affecting us in 2022. There were many good things, yes. Many! When I was a young girl in my teens, and I wanted to open a savings account, I had to be accompanied by my father – my mom couldn’t help because only men could do that. As weird as that sounds now! So many things we take for granted are now all being questioned. I trusted the world at large as a kid. I no longer do. Actually, to be perfectly honest, I trust almost nothing any longer. Like I posted before, I want a refund! LOL!

Because geometry….ugh

So much of what I was taught is bogus. And of course, the one above, geometry. It was the least favorite subject of mine in high school. Miss Vogler. She honestly used a pencil to keep her hair in a knot on the back of her head. She reminds me so much of the crazy teacher character in Men in Black they show on the big screen. I crack up every time I see that. But the point is, I seriously did not get geometry. So to use it as an argument about the sun doesn’t help me, but the graphics work better. LOL.

Sun dogs? Maybe not…

Here in Alaska we have this phenomena called Sun Dogs. We see more than one sun at a time. It is much like the top two photos. And then there are the bottom two photos. Ugh. We have been fooled once again.

So I have a wandering mind. My dad this morning (he is 95) informed me that he always loved that about me. How I would dive into a subject, get the gist of it, and move on to the next thing that caught my imagination. Ha-Ha. I responded that I am very much “a jack of all trades but master of none” in my intellectual pursuits. He replied that he wishes he could invert that about me. (Still not exactly meeting his expectations, even at my age!). He did, however, tell me he was proud of how I pursued knowledge in many, disparate, subjects. In college, I changed my major so many times that when I went into change it for the final attempt at grasping a degree, the kid at the counter asked me if my student ID was fake because “that’s a real old ID number.” So I took 10 years…I learned a lot. Ha-Ha-Ha.

Today I am still in that exploding brain emoji pattern. I keep being shown more and more evidence that still has the ability to rock my world. Hubby is coming out of it, but he is just pissed in general. It is part of that “cognitive dissonance” experience. I learned just a week ago that honey is actually bee vomit. We eat bee vomit. And it has rocked my world. I haven’t had honey since that day. Euwww….although I have since learned that bees have two stomachs, and one is for honey nectar and water. They do, however, spit it out of their mouths from this special stomach. So for me, still euwww. (Ha-Ha-Ha! Some things should not be messed with).

Bee doing its’ spitting thing in a hive…

So perhaps you can see how my brain does not let me get good rest. I keep throwing all these things into the air and grabbing onto them, and more I have not listed, daily. And as I sit here, I am trying to decide what dessert to bring for our pinochle game tonight. It is a veritable rabbit’s warren in my head. How do we find peace in amongst all this chaos? For me, it is in prayer. It is in community with like-minded people. You know you have found your tribe when you can express what you are thinking, sans any filters, and are accepted for who you are. How refreshing is that??? Good friends, community, all hemmed in with faith and prayer. The world can careen out of control, but if we tend our own yards, we can find peace. If each person in this world would tend to their own yard, imagine how quiet and peaceful the world could be. Of course, there are variants in all things, but the overall, and overreaching, tone would be one of peaceful growth – in self and in gardens and in community. So that’s where I hang on. I cling to the promises of God; I commune with Him all the time (“Jesus, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner – on constant repeat), and I seek like minded people to commune with. God is so good to me – some days I flounder particularly hard, but He always calms my spirit and brings perspective to all of this. Pray – constantly – my friends. Pray.

Pound Cake

Maybe a pound cake for tonight. Hmmmm….yep; aways thinking…lol! Maybe we are all mad here. LOL.

Save me, O Lord, for I am perishing! Behold my ship is imperiled by the battering of the waves of life and is nigh unto sinking! But as Thou art full of loving-kindness and sympathetic to our weakness, with Thine almighty authority rebuke the tumult of tribulations which threaten to overwhelm me and drag me down into the depths of evil. And let there be calm, for even the winds and the sea are obedient to thee. Amen.

Akathist to Almight God – for Help in trouble, st. paisius orthodox monastery

“Slip sliding away….”

Panic attack vocabulary

Most of the time, I come across as a happy-go-lucky woman who is happy with her life. And for the majority of the time, I am exactly what I seem. There are times, however, when things get to me and I walk around in a daze. I feel like the things in my head are going to make me insane. I feel my confidence and happiness “slip sliding away,” as the song lyrics go.

Whoa God knows, God makes his plan;

the information is unavailable to the mortal man.

We’re working our jobs, collecting our pay,

Believe we’re gliding down the highway, when we’re slip sliding away.

Slip sliding away;

You know the nearer your destination, the more you’re slip sliding away.


And every so often, I think of this song as it applies to my life. It’s similar to the adage that when you strive to be closer to God, that’s when the devil slips closer, in order to steal your soul from God. I had a priest once admonish me to never pray for patience, because “that’s when all hell breaks loose.” Things will go chaotic all around you, so you can learn to be patient. Patience is not a gift; it is a learned response to your surroundings. And God loves us to learn things for ourselves.

symptoms and signs

I have been having this latent response to Covid, which simulates some of the symptoms of panic attacks – the trembling and some sort of “electric” sensation on my skin, along with an accelerated heart rate. But it is nothing compared to a full-on panic attack. I woke at 5:30am the other morning, sure that I was dying or the world was ending. Something catastrophic was coming my way. And unlike the leftovers from Covid, it did not end when I got up. I left hubby snoring, but the dogs and I went to the living room. I tried praying. Then I remembered my deep breathing exercises I was taught in the hospital. That seemed to help. But quite honestly, it took the constant repetition of the Jesus Prayer to get me calmed down, and about an hour of it, too, combined with breathing in and out as I prayed. Being steadfast and consistent in prayer was a blessing for me that morning!

Jesus Prayer

I was recently able to share this prayer with a friend. In the eastern churches, we do not commonly pray the Rosary, nor do we use the rosary prayer beads. Instead, we have prayer ropes. They are known as “chotki” in the Greek. There are many types of them. But as you touch each knot, you pray the Jesus Prayer. Hundreds of them a day. The Roman Catholic Saint, Jose Maria Escriva, who founded Opus Dei (the Work of God) said that all tasks, all work, all day can be a prayer to God and can assist you towards sanctification. If you dedicate your works during the day to God, they become holy. And you mindfully ask God to consider the works of your hands as a holy work for Him. You elevate the simplest tasks to holy ones, by dedicating them to God. In the same way, the Jesus Prayer helps us dedicate our life, our works, our thoughts, our moments, to God.

Large and small prayer ropes

As I was panicking, I imagined myself grabbing those knots on my prayer rope (mine was in our bedroom with my snoring husband). I wear the smaller wrist style above. The larger one is usually worn by clergy, as it has 150 knots. But I know lay people who also wear them. The villain in the Iron Man movie, played by Mickey Rourke, wore the 150-knot prayer rope wrapped around his wrist. I spotted it the last time we watched the movie, and smiled. He may have been a villain, but the man prayed! LOL!

Genesis 2

One of the many images floating around my head at 5:30am was this one. The Flat Earth as depicted in Genesis 2 in the Bible. I have many friends who are now espousing this theory, versus our learned globe and universe and solar system, etc. My dad immigrated to the USA to work on the space program. And I’ve written about this in previous posts. But now more information is coming out and I am trying to remain open to what I do not know. To what is possible, even probable. And to allow myself to explore what I have been taught my entire life, in light of different information. I majored in Forensic Anthropology and Physiology, with a minor in Biblical Archeology. I want a refund. I am learning so much and my brain is totally like the emoji…

My exploding brain!!

This is just one topic waking me up. There are so many red pills and rabbit holes to explore. And so many things that do not add up with what I was taught. The “Great Awakening” is what is happening to so many of us. Our former reality is slip sliding away. Truly.

True World Map by Geographical Size

Another one of the images in my head is this map. If you take the measurements of each country and each continent, and you map them out, there is a big difference between what we are used to seeing and reality. “Ego-centric,” “Christo-centric,” “Ethno-centric” are all terms that are used when we look at modern maps. Europeans drew them. Africa was much smaller than the USA, for example. Or Greenland! It’s barely visible! Look at the above map and then go look at a modern one. It boggles the mind. On and on this whirlwind of discovery goes. More and more truths are being revealed. And more will come out.

It’s the ultimate…

The economy is tanking, and it’s on purpose. The world’s food supply is being sabotaged, also on purpose. The elites are panicking and trying to hold on to their mythical power over us common folk. There are some on the world stage who say “enough is enough” and want to save our cultures and our mores before they disappear into the transgendered, inherently evil, multi-verse known to some as the “NWO,” or “New World Order.” Many of our presidents have spoken in public about helping to “usher in the New World Order.” President Bush Sr. was one of them. Clinton. Bush Jr. Obama. Biden (Well, he doesn’t truly say a whole lot – he is just not capable). Needless to say, things are heating up and us little peons, the debt slaves, are getting the brunt of the moves in this chess game. And quite honestly, it keeps me awake. I worry. Incessantly. And it brings on these panic attacks.

Isn’t that lovely???

But if you refuse to serve the Lord, then choose today whom you will serve. Will you prefer the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates? Or will it be the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you now live? But for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.

Joshua 24:15

I cannot help but think God is in all things…even the way our history has been distorted. The way He has allowed us to be manipulated. Because if it is all served on a platter, we will not appreciate, nor value, what He gives us. Can you imagine walking streets of gold, being happy all the time, praising God like breathing in and out? Heaven! But, as I stated above, God loves us to learn for ourselves. And I am learning so much – exploding brains and panic attacks! Would I prefer the easier route? You betcha! But there is a great saying, and I believe it is important to keep at the forefront of all of this chaos and noise:

The road to hell and the stairway to heaven…hmmmm….

And today, as I started to panic, I straightened the house, I folded laundry, I started dinner, and I prayed – over and over again, “Lord Jesus Christ, son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.” With the way the world is careening out of our norm, I do think prayer is paramount. That and a well-stocked pantry. Because things are going to get much worse, before they can get better. The evil has been running rampant all over this world for generations – it’s going to take real effort to defeat it. I may not be on the “frontlines,” but I can do what I can to share information, and the best thing I can do is arm myself and pray.

The Armor of God