
My hubby and I have been married for 37 years. We got pregnant on our honeymoon. This is the first time we have been married, and truly alone, in all that time. And I’m not gonna lie, this is hard. Why? Because I have operated as “wife,” “mom,” and “homeschooling mom” all these years. And now my role has significantly changed. Wife is never changing and the role I love above the others. And, oh, I’m still mom, but in a phone call, long distance sort of way. I’m a grandma in an email, phone call, text message way, too. Because we don’t see our kids very often. Rarely, in fact. And this youngest son was our last connection to our kids and parenting. And it is just so weird. The house feels so empty. That room I was constantly annoyed with because it was like a bomb went off in it, is now empty. He even vacuumed it before he left. The walls are blank – no more flags, hats, and t-shirts covering every inch of it. No more lego creations on every surface, video games and DVDs in piles everywhere, confused with clean and dirty laundry. It was completely, 100-percent, boy room.

We have had so many experiences raising our boys. Some have been outright hilarious. Some have been frightening. But they have been times of growth and love and precious moments. And now they are all off on their own. Wow. Honestly, you stop to take a breath and suddenly 30 years have gone by. When I was in HS, I recall talking to my mom about how boring summer time was, and how I couldn’t wait for school to start so I could hang out with my friends and I wished summer would just hurry up and be over. And my mom’s reply was, “Don’t wish your life away, because one day you will be my age and wish time would slow down.” I laughed it off, but I’ve never forgotten that moment. And now I truly understand. I have seen some cute memes and tik tok videos posted online that basically say, “I wish I could turn back the hands of time. Not to undo things, but to relive those precious moments that went far too quickly.” Boy, can I relate to that.
To everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven.
ecclesiastes 3:1
And this is the time for my husband and myself, to reimagine our futures with just the two of us. We would like lots of interaction with our kiddos, but we understand they are off exploring new continents and raising their own armies. We are here, manning the homestead. And to that end, today I cleaned up and organized just a little bit. I re-organized my starter plant shelves. I organized my seeds and got my starter pots set up. After I get my back to stop spasming, I will plant my seeds. I will map out my garden. I will make sure my grow lights are functioning. I will step forward into the new paradigm of an “empty-nester.”

This time is new for us, and yet we’ve been practicing for years. The older kids have been gone more than a decade. So it’s been just three of us. Our youngest son has been pursuing his dreams and has been gone for months at a time, leaving my husband and I floundering and giggling, all at the same time. Now that all his things are gone, it changes it up just a little bit. It feels like the house is that much emptier. And boy, do we have plans for that space! And I get excited but there are tears at the back of my throat, all at the same time.
The world is careening out of control. We are bombarded by news that curls the toes, and not in a good way. We are told things that are simply non-sensical. We are given bits and pieces of truth and oh, so many lies. And how do we navigate this miasma of chaos? We hold tight to the hand of those we love. And even though my kids and grandkids are scattered, my husband is my reality and my life. We committed to one another all those years ago, and that commitment has just grown stronger. We are making plans for our garden, for our camper, for our dogs, and for us. It is sort of exciting. With a lump in my throat, nonetheless.
