..”and here we are…”

I have chosen to view my increasingly naked scalp as just another leg in my 65-year journey, to date. As that awful saying goes, “It is what it is.” The back of my head is showing more and more, but there are some baby hairs. They are white, so my scalp looks naked, even with hair. When I was an infant, my hair was snow white. In fact, it looked sort of pink because my scalp showed through it. My mom used to use Caro Syrup to glue a bow onto my head so people knew I was (a) a girl, and (b) not bald. LOL. Perhaps my scalp/hair has come full circle. I have done a lot to my hair over the years. Some experiments worked out, a lot did not. I fell asleep in college with one of those hats on where you pulled the hair through and colored it in sections. I was adding blonder highlights. My roommate came home and woke me up because all she could see was “clear” hair. I was devoid of all color. We rushed to her mom, who worked at a local drug store in the cosmetics department (and actually knew her stuff) and she calmed me down and got pure color for me to add to my hair, in stages. It took all night. But I was a normal blonde by the end of it! I’ve been lots of shades of brunette. My favorite was “cedar red brown.” Dark brown with red highlights. Loved it. It was gorgeous in the sunlight. Now two of my granddaughters have red-toned hair! I also have a brunette and a golden blonde, and a light blonde granddaughter (5 in total) with a tow-headed grandson. I love the rainbow of genetics! I also love curly hair because mine is so not curly. It hardly holds a curl. I used to sleep in sponge rollers in high school. But by the time my first class started, it was straight. I gave up. LOL. But as an adult I have had several perms. My plan is to get my hair back and lightly wave it, with some purple for spice. You only go around once – may as well have fun. My boys do not like my hair permed. But they are all grown up with their own wives. I figure I can do what I want now! My husband is so patient. God bless that man. He says he doesn’t care, so long as I am happy with it. So blessed. Been together 39 years and married for 37 of them. He is my rock.

Ed and Jan @ MatSu Glacier, Alaska 2021

Yeah, I have lost 70% of that hair up there in that photo from last summer! LOL. Oh well, onward and upward…

As I was looking back at photos, and noticing my hair (how vain is that??) I also noticed clothing trends. I have never been a salacious dresser. I never wanted to bring attention to myself. If I have a lower-cut blouse, I wear a tank top underneath, to cover any cleavage. My mom had a mastectomy and she had these little inserts that hooked around her bra straps to hide her scars. I thought those were an awesome invention. And today in my newsfeed I was horrified to see photos of the new “Deputy Assistant Secretary of Spent Fuel and Waste Disposition for the US” who Bydan nominated. He/she wears skirts and heels and has a list of preferred pronouns. He/she even posted a video about their preferences. And he/she now has the national stage. Ugh. And I come back to why??? Why???

Pronoun Person

There are a lot of photos of this person floating around the internet today and I am sick to my stomach. Since when did so much pornographic material make its way onto our newsfeeds, and it is deemed allowable? There are shots of them in various costumes doing various things that used to be unheard of, and certainly behind closed doors. My brain cannot unsee that, now. It is forever burned into my memories. And I feel assaulted. Reactionary? Maybe. But when did this become ok? I remember how TV got raunchy with the soap operas. And movies…there were some that crossed the line from soft-porn to mainstream and somehow we lost that line. I was recently blown away when I watched a program on Netflix and there was blatant sex, naked breasts and behinds, and every other word started with “F”!!! I could barely stomach it. How did this happen?? America??? Where have our standards dropped to now?

The works of the flesh are manifest , and they are fornication and uncleanness…and things like these. As to these things I am forewarning you the same way as I did forewarn you that those who practice such things shall not inherit the God’s kingdom.

Galations 5:19-21

Let fornication and uncleanness of every sort or greediness not even be mentioned among you.

Ephesians 5:3

Deaden, therefore, your body members that are upon the earth as respects fornication, uncleanness, sexual appetite.

Colossians 3:5

We are afraid to impose our Biblical standards of faith and morals upon society at large. Why? They are certainly imposing their views upon us. Once upon a time, actors and plays were looked upon as lower class or dirty. The people would not normally be seen with them outside of a performance. In many countries (Japan and China among them) actors’ troupes were also a form of sexual slavery and the females were kept in bondage and used to curry favor with nobles, to allow performances in their regions. In fact, acting was considered to be below women (to protect their reputations) and most of the parts were acted by men in women’s attire (gee, I wonder what that did for male role models??). The females in the troupes were there to service men – clean the costumes, feed them on the road, and take care of all their sexual needs. They were not equal to the men. Even in the early days of film, actors were hosted at events as oddities. The idea of them being celebrities did not happen until the 40s and 50s. And now? Actors, who pretend for a living, are considered experts on everything from health care to climate change to politics and abortion. They pretend for a living. Remember? They get paid to act. So much of what we see is just a performance. Want to go down some rabbit holes? Look into actors and what price so many have paid for the fame they love so much!!

The Bible

As most of us know, the media is not our friend. It does not treat us with honesty. It is constantly spewing images at us that do not build the Kingdom of God. When I was a child in the 50s, you could not show a married couple sleeping in the same bed on TV or the movie screen. I love Lucy was one of my favorite shows. But it was also advant guarde in the way in which it showed two new images to the American audience: (1) Lucy was pregnant on TV. The first woman who was not block-filmed to hide their pregnancy (2) the bedroom. Their separate beds gradually moved closer and closer until they were next to each other. Separate blankets and sheets but they were next to each other. And that opened the flood gates for more and more that was then deemed “allowable” in our living rooms. Lucy Ricardo and the actress who played her were both staunchly left and all about women’s rights. Nothing was a mistake on that show. And oh so many others. We let it in, little by little, until it became an ugly beast. And now it is everywhere in almost everything. “Sex sells,” as the saying goes.

Pyrex Ad 1950s

There is so much being done to desensitize us. The lyrics in songs, the ads we see, the shows we watch, the books we read. I have recently gone through my kindle and deleted so many books that I realized were not building me up towards the Kingdom of God, but were rather taking me away from my faith. As I looked for books to read that were fun, but clean, I realized I had to change my parameters and read only YA, or Young Adult. Most of those don’t even have bad words, let alone detailed sex scenes or violence. Each of us has to decide what we will allow into our minds, into our homes, and into our lives. The Lord was pretty strong about pornography and licentiousness.

The lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life is not from the Father, but is from the world.

1John 2:16

If you ever want to see a map of where our culture is headed, just read up on the end of the culture of Rome. You know the saying, “Nero fiddled while Rome burned”? Well, Nero was fiddling around alright. He sent soldiers to burn out the Christian communities from Rome. Deep in the city, fires were started to run the Christians out of town. Nero was losing his numbers in the stadiums. Sacrificing the Christians to the lions wasn’t holding its charm. The people were tired of the deeply imbedded caste system and were tired of their overlords. Nero was a sick and evil man. He was from a long line of them. But pushing the Christians out, burning down half of Rome, did not have the desired effect. Many things caused the collapse of Rome and Roman culture worldwide. Nero and his debased lifestyle and his evil ways were a part of it, for sure. And if we look around us, we have stadiums filled with eager fans. Have you researched the prices for seats at the upcoming Super Bowl? It is blatantly disgusting. While people are out of work and suffering under stupid mandates, apparently it is ok in CA to cram 1000s of people into a stadium, as long as they pay the right price. What price are you willing to pay? The purity of your daughter? The lost childhood of your grandchildren? The closed doors of your Church? The evil in our capital??

My husband and I are watching the series, “The Hunger Games,” over again. In light of our current world, that series is almost prescient – like a forewarning (see Galations 5:19-21 again) we have been given about what our elites are planning for us. Maybe I see danger in every dark corner. Maybe I love conspiracy theories. Maybe I just took my blinders off and when I did, I did not like what I saw.

It is time…

Perhaps we need to put our money behind what we believe. Watch out who you spend your hard-earned dollars supporting. So many companies are bad from the ground up. The recent brew-ha-ha (however you spell that) with Joe Rogan and Spotify got really interesting when it was revealed the CEO of Spotify is on the board of Moderna – yeah; the same company that makes all those vaccines. No wonder they want someone like Joe silenced. But there are so many out there spewing facts and truth, that the narrative is slowly crumbling. Our dollars do make a difference. We can opt to fund things like the Trucker movement that is now worldwide. We can put our money to support the pro-life movement. We can stop shopping at the big box stores and support local businesses. We can support local farmers and eat local (we recently bought 1/2 cow from a local farmer! We know the meat will be good and we know where it comes from. No franken-meat for us!) We can influence for the good. We can outlast and out speak the evil in this world. Less that 3% of the population is aberrant insofar as Christian morals and principles are concerned. That means that 97% of the world believes in Christian values. And those statistics hold up in the USA!! Why do we allow the small minority to run our world? Our Country? Our towns and cities?

Evil is here. We see it more and more every day. We believe in Godly principles. We pray. We call ourselves Christians, and yet, here we are.

What is next? It is up to us!

There’s always a bright side, right???

So I had Covid. And I had a pretty serious case of it. I am still dealing with the after-effects. One of them, diabetes, is a daily issue. I got a “Fitbit” that I wear all the time. It logs my sleep, which is fascinating and is actually helping me get a better quality of sleep, as well as steps, movement (when I use my cycler), food intake, water consumption, and so much more. It also monitors my O2 saturation, which since Covid, is important to me. It is worth every penny. I discovered I was allergic to the band it came with, and that is apparently very common, and so I was led to a collection on Amazon of bands that are colorful and fun. And so it has become a fashion accessory, as well as a tool I depend upon. I am now used to the buzz it gives me when I need to move (more steps a day) and when I have a text or phone call. I log my blood sugar every morning and it reminds me to check it, as well as reminding me to take my medication. You can set goals and you get badges when you achieve one. I recently got a badge for 10+ pounds lost and over 26 miles in my steps and exercise. I get a notice that I need to wind down for the day and prepare for sleep. It reminds me to check in with the groups I have selected to belong to. It reminds me to eat healthy foods.It posts recipes to try and exercises I might like. It helps keep me on track about my complete health. Honestly, it’s almost like a nagging wife on my wrist! But I love it. I have learned so very much about myself and this stupid disease, as well as how I can combat it and get healthier. Fitbit for the win!

Versa 3 SpO2 Face

The Fitbit has helped me to gain control of diabetes, and my overall health, which was spiraling out of control. I am obese. Clinically obese. Yuck. The term sends shivers down my spine. The severity of Covid and its aftermath are solely my fault. If I would have been in shape and had my health under control, I would have breezed through it. I think. LOL. Covid – most infections – love sugar. And diabetics have it in every cell. So I fed the infection. The nurses did not push me to eat in the 6 days I was hospitalized. They said fasting was probably good because it was allowing my body to divest itself of an over-abundance of blood sugar, which would in turn, help overcome the illness. It was a lesson in consequences. Every bite matters. Every still moment of couch potato life, or in my case, recliner life, add to my ill health. And I am happy to say, I am learning so many lessons. Even at my grandma-era state of life – I am still teachable!

Covid Hair Loss Is REAL!

One of the things “post-Covid” that is finally being talked about is hair loss. Especially in women. Well, I can tell you I have had a few cry fests, dealing with all the hair I am losing. My ears show through my hair on the sides. If I towel dry my hair, it is so thin I have no time to blow dry it; it’s already dry. There is a bald spot on the crown of my head in the back. This is NO JOKE. I went 4 days this last week, between washing, to rest my hair. When I got into the shower, it was coming out in bunches thicker than the photo above. I had to clear the drain before I could finish showering. Then, when I combed through my wet hair, the hair that fell out literally filled the sink. I am not kidding. There is no mathematical way it can keep this up and it not show. I am beyond depressed about it. Let’s face it – Covid, diabetes, and now going bald. Ugh. My hair is all over the place. It is on the furniture. It gets stuck in my standard poodles’ hair. I have found it in the food I am cooking. It is all over the carpeting and the floors. I have globs of it on my chair and my pillow. Honestly, it is everywhere, but on my head. And I am angry I still have to shave my legs and armpits. I have weird gray hairs in my eyebrows I have to corral. I have a mustache and slight beard I have to keep shaved. So my body can make hair. Post-menopausal women get more hair in weird places that grows so weird. Why can’t it stay on my scalp????

I love my gray hair!

According to my research, this is called “telogen effluvium” and this is hair loss related to stress. Apparently having a major life event, like childbirth or an illness, can cause hair loss. For some it is barely noticeable, for others it is pretty substantial. Many women are reporting top of the head as their most common site of hair loss. Mine is all over. I have consulted a hair stylist I trust (my sister-in-law – thank you Missy), a homeopath, and several sites devoted to this post-Covid experience. A friend of mine, who is also suffering from this phenomenon, told me it lasts 4-6 months. Another friend, who also had this, said her doctor told her it is becoming more and more common, even though it was poo-poo’d at first. Doctors are not treating any of this Covid issue with honesty. And it makes me even more angry. But that is for another post. This post, I am solely dealing with the aftereffects of Covid. And there are many. But I have to say, this hair thing is what is the most trying… even more than diabetes. Why? Oh boy…

It used to be…

I already stated that I am overweight. Now, to most people, this is just another attribute of who I am. I have been heavy for over 30 years. Before I was married, I weighed 115 lbs and wore a size 6. My wedding dress was an 8 to incorporate my chest and had to be altered the rest of the way down. LOL. I got pregnant on our honeymoon and have struggled with my weight ever since. When I was a teenager, I was walking to the beach and a guy rode by on a bike and grabbed a breast and said, “Nice set of ta-ta’s” to me. I was mortified. I cried. I went back to the beach house we were staying at and the father of my girlfriend, when I explained why I was crying, said to me, “Well, you are wearing a tiny bikini and a towel. Everything is out there. Didn’t you want that attention?” And I have never forgotten that. Thank you, Mr. Raymond. It was a good lesson for me. I was 15 at the time – that was 50 years ago. I have always had a poor self-image. Even when thin, my dad once said to me, “You have a wonderful hourglass figure. It’s too bad all the sand is at the bottom. Your time is running out.” I was a freshman in high school at the time. I have never forgotten that. It fed my body dysphoria. I never wanted men’s attention because of my body. I have had to tell men, more than once, “My eyes are up here.” Consequently, I never wanted to have a provocative figure. So when motherhood came upon me, I hid inside of it. Still do. Through all these stupid body-image issues, I always had nice hair. No matter how heavy I became, my hair was always nice. I was complimented on it by hair stylists all the time. And it became important to me. And this is the rub: when you are overweight, people do not see you. Truly see YOU. They scan over you, but very few see you. I can wear make-up (which I never do) and no one notices. I am now wearing a size smaller than I normally do – only my husband has really noticed. I can get new clothes, even new glasses, no one says anything except very close family or friends. I went from purple frames to grayish black. No one but my family noticed. And so here I am, dealing with losing the one attribute I felt proud about. I am regaining my health and losing weight – that is an amazing thing. But darn it with the hair loss! I am sick over it. I am trying to get it under control. A friend recently told me I had a poor self-image. She noticed I would alway say that I was unable to do things I had never tried before. I just assumed I could not do them. And that I was defeating myself before I got started. I needed to hear that. She also said, “We are both losing our hair from Covid. There is nothing we can do about it. Don’t cry about something you have no control over. Deal with it. Summer is coming. Your hair will grow back.” I needed those words, too. My husband, whom I love more every day, said, “Look on the bright side, maybe it will grow back curly like you want and you can color strands purple if you want.” God bless that man. He even offered his beard hair to me (he is bald himself). He’s such a good man. And so, I need to learn to let these hairs just fall off. Let them go. Be humble. Be strong. Be bald if that is what God wants for me. (Maybe I can get fun wigs?? LOL. Side thought…)

Let my hair go…

And the other part in all this? I know every hair on my head is counted. Every single one. God has a purpose for this. I am still growing and learning, even as I approach old age; even as I am considered old by society (yeah – just got Medicare, too. LOL. Everything at once!!). And so I am laying this all out there, from learning to be more fit and using new tools like my Fitbit and my cycler, to dealing with significant hair loss as a woman. I am learning to eat good, wholesome and locally grown foods. I am learning to “eat to live not live to eat.” And to use food as nourishment, not medicine. The Lord has all of this in His Hands. And I believe in Him above all else. I trust the God who knew me before I took my first breath, and Who counted all the hairs on my head.

Peace in all of this…