Hi There! I think I’m back.

MincemeatPie3I’m feverishly planning Thanksgiving.  It’s my first time to host it since we left California. Even during our time in Seattle, we went to Thanksgiving with others.  And extended family is coming to our tiny house.  I am in an interior panic.  Pretty cool on the outside; panic on the inside.  I’d love some mince pie (that’s the photo above) but no one else likes it.  And there is the never-ending discussion of stuffing the bird or not; sweet or savory stuffing; leave the giblets in or out; home made gravy or store bought; Barbara’s Yams or potatoes (solved it – both), pumpkin, mince, or apple pie…and on it goes.  And my house is so small.  We’ll be cozy!  And there is no snow!  We had flurries today but nothing measurable.  We all long for snow…it just isn’t our holidays without it. In addition, the economy needs it!

I haven’t blogged in a long time. I pulled away.  I found myself being too negative and complaining a lot in my posts.  I did not like my words.  I sought a cure – I left my political groups and news feeds and even left pretty much all my religious ones, too.  It saddened me that people claiming such a deep faith could be so hurtful.  I just didn’t need the added grief in my life.  And I was going through some profound disappointments in people and I realized that I have to let people go.  “It is what it is,” which is a saying I hate, but it just fits so many situations.  I can’t change people, nor can I expect more of someone because they say they are Christians.  People are people.  Some people are just ugly – on the inside – and it permeates everything.  And even though they have gone through some spiritual metanoia, of some sort, they can still cling to their hatreds and their misconceptions.  So my assumption would be that the change in faith wasn’t heartfelt or as deep.  And so I am learning to let it go.  Let it slide. It is what it is. Which is pretty much why I stopped blogging.  The old saying of, “If you don’t have something nice to say, say nothing at all.”

My incredible husband bought me a Kindle Paperwhite E-Reader for my birthday in August.  It was the best gift I have ever received.  I love my Kindle.  I have over 280 books downloaded on my Kindle and I can proudly say that at least 80% were free, or less than a dollar.  Yay for 99-cent books!  I just finished a series and bawled the last 30 pages or so. I will miss the characters, their struggle, and the storyline.  But I had another series just waiting for me.  And I have pre-releases waiting for me, as well as beta-reading to do for several groups.  Lots and lots to read.  And I am so happy to read.  I have found that retreating into myself, being less public, as it were, has been good for my soul.  My world has narrowed considerably and I am very okay with that.  I have a few friends I speak to on a regular basis, and my family, too.  Other than that, I am pretty secluded and it is working for me.  No need to be out and about, being a part of all the discussions and arguments.

In light of the recent events in regards to the acquittal of a policeman in the shooting of a young man, we can see how terribly fragile our hold on this culture in America we really have.  It seems like there is a veneer of sociability we present to our communities, but at the least little thing, there is anger and explosive behaviors.  So much hatred and anger.  It makes me sad.  I know there are platitudes galore in how to face these times, but I really feel that we need to heed the words, “To have change in the world, be the change you want to see in the world.”  What example of personal responsibility are we sharing with our youth?  Rioting and destroying the community we live in certainly does not help an already-depressed economy.  We are in a culture of dependence on our government for everything.  I wish more people were personally responsible for their actions and interactions within our communities.  We need to support families, be a culture who cares about every life.  Planned Parenthood doesn’t locate the majority of its operations in ghettos for no reason.  There is an agenda afoot to make us all dependent on the government for everything…for our very lives and the lives of our children – born and unborn.  The fate of our elderly is also in jeopardy. And our world has come to be a place where God is shoved aside and ignored.  Where does our treasure lay?

It is amazing to me how people will jump to conclusions about things, without a thorough knowledge of them.  Prejudice is alive and well in America, in so many, many areas and ways.  I prefer certain genres to read.  And so many people think it is terrible (Satanic, etc).  I read paranormal and distopian literature.  I love the constant good vs evil struggle that is portrayed in them.  I’ve always enjoyed a good scary story that involved werewolves or vampires, or the end of the world scenario, and the heroes struggling to save themselves from imminent doom.  There are themes that run through these stories and we can talk ad nauseum about the psychological and social models present in these types of literature, but rather than do that, I wanted to share what I have learned.

I have learned that life is a struggle.  It is a constant of light vs dark, good vs evil, man vs woman, society vs anti-society.  Look at the 60s.  That was a time of turmoil and rugged determination on both sides of many arguments…peace vs war, man vs machine, freedom from “the man,” free love vs marriage, and rock and roll exploded onto the music world.  We were at war in Viet Nam; friends were drafted and never came home. Short skirts and long hair.  I was a teenager in the 60s.  (I can’t believe my parents said no to “Woodstock”!! Ha-Ha).  And still our culture struggles.  We need to model the change we want to see in the world.  We need to share love and peace with those sitting across our tables.  If we all cocooned ourselves, became sort of “short-sighted,” and just reached out to those around us, rather than trying to affect change on a large scale, we might just change the world.  If you see someone who needs help with their grocery cart, or to get in a door, help them.  I know there are instances in everyday life where we can be the change to just one person, planting that seed that can help change the world.

And then there is Thanksgiving dinner.  We are all crammed into a little house and we are all going to be on our best behavior.  No fights, no disagreements.  (Unless someone comes over who happens to be a 49ers fan – then there could be trouble).  And we are going to be thankful.  Thankful for this incredible country we are privileged to live in, and thankful for the family and friends surrounding us, and thankful for the food on our tables.  If we can put aside animosity and be the change to those we sit at table with, we may just pull it off.  I will be panicked that my meal will come out done, on time, and delicious. I will be panicked the house is clean and there is room at our table for whomever wants to come eat with us. I will be worried my Seahawks might lose the game. But I will be thankful for leftovers, for some snow, and to be able to go back to reading my Kindle when it’s all over.  Then we pull out all the Christmas stuff.  Ha-Ha!

Peace.  Happy Thanksgiving!


2 thoughts on “Hi There! I think I’m back.

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