I am pretty sure there is a lesson here for me, somewhere. I really dislike being laid up. I injured my back (3 diagnoses, same treatment) and have been given 3 medicines, had a shot in my backside twice, been subjected to ice packs and heating pads, and prescribed bed rest for 3-6 weeks. I decided to back off the pain pills for today, and have made it until 3:30pm, but I think I am going to have to give in and take them. I hate not being “present” and yet I know I need to be still. It is hard to find a comfy position other than laying flat in bed or standing up. So lucky for those who actually read this, because it will be short!!
“The Didache (Διδαχή) or The Teaching of the Twelve Apostles (Didachē means “Teaching”]) is a brief early Christian treatise dated by most scholars to the late first or early second century. The first line of this treatise is “Teaching of the Lord to the Gentiles (or Nations) by the Twelve Apostles.” The text, parts of which constitute the oldest surviving written catechism, has three main sections dealing with Christian ethics, rituals such as baptism and Eucahrist, and Church organization. It is considered the first example of the genre of the Church orders.” (Orthowiki)
I have used this photo and quote in quite a number of posts, and it seems to be cropping up, again. I am looking for the whys in my current situation and pretty much have decided that God is telling me to stop, allow what is happening to happen, and to trust in Him.
Without too much detail, I have had problems with my spine for years. I felt a pop and experienced searing pain last Wednesday, and sought the advice of a doctor here in town (as well as the ER and a third visit for a second spinal injection). A big, wonderful, and good thing that has come out of this was meeting a new doctor, whom I liked right away, and finding out why I have so many back issues. When this acute issue has been taken care of, I now have a health plan to get me where I want to be, and someone to walk me through it. What a total blessing. As I left his office, he told me his entire staff was praying for me. How often do we hear those words out of the mouth of a doctor? Thrilled!
The other thing is that I have had to just sit and not allow myself to over-worry about things I have no control over. I laughingly thought of a comic drawing of a mom, laid up, with the house running amok (dirty laundry, dishes in the sink, messy home). And I seriously cannot worry that our clean clothes are almost all used up. I have a healthy teenager who is going to assist me with that. They will more than likely not be done according to my standards, but they will be clean! I can do this! I can let things go! (And not go crazy looking at it all day long….I’m trying!!!).Elder Paisios the Athonite, quoted above, knows that living a soft and easy life makes us all useless. We need to have that struggle, and we need to work towards our sanctification. There is no way I consider myself holy or sanctified, but rather a work in progress. And I think God is slowing me down a little bit so I can have my attention focused, and pay greater attention, to what He wishes for me in my life. The world is such a loud, confusing jumble of noise, that many of us forget that God walks next to us throughout our lives. At the very least, one of His Angels walks with us. I often imagine what my angel must look like; I am pretty sure she is tired! LOL!
And so I can opt to use this time of quiet and isolation to still do battle for my soul and for the souls of those I love. I can choose to pray. And I have been praying, in between naps brought on by medication. It feels good. I thought of starting with my phone, looking at my contacts, and praying for each person in there. And my Facebook friends; my email contact list; people who follow my blog. These are all people I can diligently pray for. Which makes being laid up and in pain useful for something! And prayers are never wasted. Pope Benedict XVI used his weekly General Audience to explain that there is no such thing as wasted prayer. “We can be sure that there is no such thing as a superfluous or useless prayer. No prayer is lost,” said the Pope to over 8,000 pilgrims in the Vatican’s Paul VI Audience Hall Sept. 12. “When faced with evil we often have the sensation that we can do nothing, but our prayers are in fact the first and most effective response we can give, they strengthen our daily commitment to goodness. The power of God makes our weakness strong.” (9/12/12).
Sometimes I think God has to hit us with 2 x 4’s to get our attention. For me, it is the nerve cluster in my back! Boing! Pain can really get your attention, can’t it? God has my attention and I am turning to Him for comfort, but I am also using my time for prayers…that’s all I can pull out of this for now. Back to ice pack and meds!