“…Where I belong….”

I was watching a Disney movie the other day entitled, “Enchanted,” and in the movie, the main character, played by Amy Adams, sings a song in Central Park entitled, “That’s how you know!” and the lyrics came to me overnight, over and over again:

“He’ll find his own way to tell you
With the little things he’ll do
That’s how you know
That’s how you know!”

Funny how music will play around in your head and certain lyrics just stick in your consciousness!  I am also channeling a song called, “Where I belong” by the Christian group, Building 429, and the refrain goes like this:

“All I know is I’m not home yet
This is not where I belong
Take this world and give me Jesus
This is not where I belong.”

And these two songs spoke to my heart and all the turmoil that is going on inside my head.  I realized that these lyrics both point me towards God, where I belong.  One is telling me that all the little things God does for me, point me in that direction, and that I am heading towards God.  The Will of God should be my will and my ears should hearken to His word, however He shares it with me.  I know, the Enchanted song was written about the love of a man and a woman, but the particular line that kept running through my head (along with the tune, which is becoming rather annoying) was “He’ll find a way to tell you,” which I know is because I have been trying to discern the truth of where I am headed.  And the fact that I also kept hearing (with a much more likable tune for me) “All I know is I’m not home yet; this is not where I belong” gave me great peace and hope.  And we all need to spend time, waiting on the Lord to speak in our lives. Sometimes He whispers and in a world of such great noise, we often miss that gentle whisper in our ear.  God seeks us and our attention, and uses many avenues to communicate with us. Often God will speak through someone else and the moment the words are uttered, you know in your heart that God sent you a message.  That has happened to me more times than I can count!  And it has happened to me this past week, and over the weekend.  I KNOW that God is calling me northward, and I know I am not home, yet.  I have received comforting words from friends and family, as well as through the written words of people like Abbot Tryphon, who do not even realize they have spoken to me personally, and through popular music!  But I know that Our Lord has shared with me, and I find such peace in that.

St. Nikolai

When I attend Divine Liturgy, or Vespers, or other religious prayers and events, I feel the presence of God in his Word, his people, his priests, his Temple, and in His presence in the Holy Eucharist. I have experienced God in so many ways, that His presence in my life is certain; it is an absolute.

As a homeschooling mom, I understand the varied ways we help our children learn.  We have schooled three sons, two through to high school and college, with our youngest about to enter those wonderfully formative years of high school.  During our family’s journey of education, I have learned that one son may be a tactile learner, another may be an oral learner, and still another may require several avenues in order to get the information I am imparting lodged into his memory.  The Church knows this about each of us, too.  We experience God through sound (the wonderful tones during Vespers and Divine Liturgy; the words from our Priests, the prayers we all intone as a community), smell (I happen to adore incense in its many varieties, as well as the scent of Holy Oils), sight (the interior of our Churches wherein we leave the world behind and enter “heaven” for an hour or more, contemplating the Holy images, or Icons of the Saints who have gone before us, as well as the Icons of Christ our God and His Blessed Mother; the colors and hues on the altar and the vestments of our priests, the Holy Doors, the candles and wonderful candlelight, which gives everything a special glow), touch (Holy Icons and blessing ourselves as we enter and leave; Holy Water, the feel of blessing when it gently lands upon you; Holy Oil when the priest anoints you on your forehead, the touch of the priest when he lays his hand upon your head at confession, the feel of the back of the pew in your hand as you stand in prayer) – all these ways the Church has given us to experience our faith.  We take in the blessings of faith in our whole being, in preparation for total immersion with God in Heaven.

When you add all these experiences together and are seeking God’s Will for your life, He speaks volumes and if we are tuned in to God, and “tuned out” to the noise of this world, we will reach a certainty, a feeling of security, in knowing our will is aligned with the Will of God.

“Sometimes it feels like I’m watching from the outside
Sometimes it feels like I’m breathing but am I alive
I won’t keep searching for answers that aren’t here to find

All I know is I’m not home yet
This is not where I belong
Take this world and give me Jesus
This is not where I belong

So when the walls come falling down on me
And when I’m lost in the current of a raging sea
I have this blessed assurance holding me.

All I know is I’m not home yet
This is not where I belong
Take this world and give me Jesus
This is not where I belong

When the earth shakes I wanna be found in You
When the lights fade I wanna be found in You

All I know is I’m not home yet
This is not where I belong
Take this world and give me Jesus
This is not where I belong

Where I belong, where I belong
Where I belong, where I belong”

Onion Domes

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